Deep in the bowels of RealGM's NBA message board lays an unheard prophecy. "The Official I Have a Man Crush on Brandon Roy Club", it reads. "... yes I am drunk, but still, how f'ing awesome is Mr. B.Roy?" I see this because it's late on a Friday night and I'm sitting on my couch curious whether anybody else shares my adoration.
The amount of Google results for the phrase "I have a man crush on Brandon Roy" assure me I'm not alone. In fact, I'm far from alone. Not that it's precise or anything, but that exact wording returns more than 10 times the result of the same phrase with any other name that first comes to mind. Lebron James, Kobe Bryant, Chris Paul; all of them, even combined, fall pathetically short. I try Justin Timberlake, Kanye West... Barack Obama? What about Reggie Bush, Derek Jeter or Sidney Crosby? Heck, I bite my tongue and try Dwyane Wade, even the misspelled ‘a-y' version just to make sure; love can do funny things to one's ability to spell... not even double digits.
For some indefinable reason this suspiciously humble kid from the Pacific northwest has the same tantalizing effect on men all over the country and I'm determined to figure out why. I can't even imagine what he does to women. Rarely have I approved of professional athletes dating my sister, but with Roy my subconscious starts putting together a reasonable dowry.
In Game 3 of the Portland Trailbazers' Western Conference quarter-final, Roy and company came this close to taking down the Houston Rockets behind 19 from their silent leader. When I watch the undersized shooting guard immerge above a pack of towering post players for a timely offensive put-back in the game's final minutes, it reminds me of why I like the guy in the first place.
Never mind the fact that much of his success comes from a certain elegant scrappiness or that he waddles when he's boxing out, Brandon Roy hits that same springy jump shot you replicate in your kitchen while you wait for your bagels to toast and that's why you love him. He gets things done without cueing a parade of followers.
Not long after Roy helps his squad get threateningly close to a Game 3 win, he misses a couple of inside attempts that, in all likelihood, Dwyane Wade or LeBron James would have hit. And then he fouls out. It's his mortality that makes him so relatable and his deviation from today's Hollywood-meet-basketball landscape that makes him so appealing.
Roy has no visible tattoos and has said in the past that body art is against his nature. You won't catch him with chains thick enough to tow a tractor nor will you find him sitting courtside at one of the league's most prestigious events masquerading as a taller version of Kanye West. He's simply just a down-to-earth dude minimizing the impact of the stuff he does on the basketball court so as to remain under the radar.
The things that separate him from all the other Joes and blows living under the professional sports radar, however, are the things that prevent him from being a full-fledged celebrity. While the Dwight Howard's of the world are off channelling the marketability of Clark Kent or making prank calls to All-Star teammates, Brandon Roy is, by nature, not so... obvious.
As superstardom waits so easily attainable, he gives it the ol' thanks-but-no-thanks, the ol' hold-on-a-sec-I'm-just-breathing-new-life-into-a-traditionally-disappointing-franchise. He sees what the industry expects of him as a rising star, but continues down his own silent path.
It's some combination of this gritty ability to dominate the most athletic league on earth and his apathetic attitude towards fame in the first place, I hypothesize, that makes him who he is; the definition of cool, yet we'll never know for sure. We can only hope to one day understand what it is exactly, that makes us wish we knew how to do what he does.
There's no telling how long these sort of loves last, but with a guy like Brandon Roy it's not so hard to imagine forever. Until his brand is mashed into the collective's face as frequently and obnoxiously as the rest of today's sporting world, it's easy to root for him as the last undiscovered resource in the NBA.
Let's just hope the Blazers don't go and blow the secret by coming back in this series and advancing too far in the post-season.
Current Comments
27 comments so far (post your own)the Blazers always had their own tactics and know what they do. i wish them good luck and many victories this year.
Posted by rapid4me on Monday, January 11, 2010 @ 4:11am
Long been a fan of the Blazers, I hope this season will surpass its very success!
Posted by Fost on Tuesday, February 16, 2010 @ 10:46am
Keep up the good work Blazers... im one of your fan.
Posted by Jill on Friday, February 19, 2010 @ 1:47am
Keep posting stuff like this i really like it.
Posted by Sirota on Saturday, February 20, 2010 @ 2:57am
We believe in you and follow your game! I am confident mastery Blazers will bring them good luck!
Posted by qwertyload on Wednesday, March 24, 2010 @ 10:29pm
Go Blazers...i wish them good luck and many victories this year.
Posted by Btscene on Monday, March 29, 2010 @ 6:11am
in my annual salute to the NCAA tournament, here's the annual mock draft of draft-eligible collegians. Not that it's a scoop in a year in which everyone has the same top five and in the age of the 24/7/365 draft-nik when the latest mock is a mouse click away. The others are weighted according to players' perceived intention. Thus, Kentucky's John Wall is universally No. 1 but the other Wildcat guard, Eric Bledsoe, a possible lottery pick whose intentions aren't as clear, is ranked No. 21 by ESPN'S Chad Ford.
Posted by Best Car Rental on Monday, May 10, 2010 @ 6:41am
I am confident mastery Blazers will bring them good luck!
Posted by auto safety hammer on Friday, May 21, 2010 @ 6:11am
The blazzers play tactically...no doubt they win...good luck..
Posted by evildrome on Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 2:23pm
Thanks for the article...I am sure blazzers will win the match..Go on Blazzers
Posted by Freshdls on Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 2:31pm
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Posted by vo2ov on Thursday, May 27, 2010 @ 7:19am
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Posted by vo2ov on Thursday, May 27, 2010 @ 7:19am
Playoffs this year are awesome, there's been some really clutch games. LA vs Suns for example
Posted by attract women on Friday, May 28, 2010 @ 4:48am
If the blazers get blessed, and go to the west finals in the playoffs, it would be hard not to argue Broy for MVP this season. Its hard not to argue nate for COY, given our record and being that they has a bunch of college and high schoolers to coach. But Broy is my MVP no matter what.
Posted by miniclip on Friday, June 4, 2010 @ 3:42pm
Long been a fan of the Blazers, I hope this season will surpass its very success!
Posted by HID Conversion on Monday, June 7, 2010 @ 4:50pm
Not long after Roy helps his squad get threateningly close to a Game 3 win, they misses a couple of inside attempts that, in all likelihood, Dwyane Wade or LeBron James would have hit. & then they fouls out. It is his mortality that makes him so relatable & his deviation from today's Hollywood-meet-basketball landscape that makes him so appealing
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Posted by Water proof jackets on Tuesday, June 15, 2010 @ 1:26pm
the rumor that he is going to move to other club
Posted by make money online on Tuesday, June 15, 2010 @ 3:23pm
blazers team in my opinion is always secondary level, coaches and players may have to be fix this,perhaps they capability have to be upgrade
Posted by mortgage calculator on Wednesday, June 16, 2010 @ 11:53am
Hmm yeah it seems he will be moving on somewhere else.
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